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We all know being a real racist is bad, but what about when you pretend to be a racist to amuse your chums? Is that allowed? Or is that just as bad as being a real racist? You can only do it with people you know really well; so they know you are only joking about being a racist.
I can’t give you an example because I don’t know all of you really well, so you’ll think I’m a real racist.
Is this just me? Are you an occasional pretend racist? I’d like to hear from you.
Tea drinking resumed. Will to live hath returnethed.
You have to try and wring a bit of pleasure from the dry cloth of life hant y’?
I dunno why I bother asking for directions. It’s not because I’m too proud to, like lots of silly men are, it’s just after the first line, like ‘turn left’ they may as well be speaking french. I can see thier mouths moveing but it doesn’t go it. My brain won’t store it.
Is this just me? Is anyones capable of storing a list of directions?
I’ve recently stopped drinking tea and almost instantly I lost the will to live. I don’t think it’s a coincidence.
Don’t ever try to stop drinking tea.
I am very disapointed that there is no one representing blow football on the F.A’s panel. Blow football is a popular sport, with 0.0001 percent of the population having some knowledge of how to play it.
I demand that blow football is represented in some way.
I’ve just watched the whole of the match on standard D when I could have watched it on HD. Hang on, there no fucking difference.
Any tits in this ‘masters of sex’ show? Hang on, no need, I forgot about the internet.
I like how monkeys eat the whole apple, core and everything. Monkeys don’t fuck about!
I’ve written a dead good new song, it goes like this:
I need a plop before I do the big shop.
I need a plop before I do the big shop
That’s it so far.
It just came to me now as I was going out the door to do a big shop and I had to come back in cos I needed a plop.
I accidentally left the freezer door open yesterday morning and it was like a dream come when I got home and found the entire contents of the freezer cooked and ready to eat. I’m still stuffed!
If you (like me) had given your nob the nickname ‘Sir James Savile’ it’s probably time to think of a new one. To be honest, the lasses don’t like it.
I had a dream last night I was wandering about looking for a mixed grill I’d ordered whist busting for a piss.
Was my subconscious trying to tell me something? Actually yes, when I woke up I did indeed need a piss. I already new I liked mixed grills before I went to sleep but its nice to have it confirmed now and then. Thanks subconscious.
I had one the other day where I was asleep but in the dream I was in bed unable to get to sleep. Annoying and confusing. It’s like fucking Inception, but shite.
Here’s a hilarious video in which I lament how shite my dreams have got lately…
I like flip flops but the noise they make when I walk makes me feel foolish. I feel like every flip and every flop is extracting credibility from me as I go along. People looking at each other behind my back and shaking their heads.
I suppose could get the ones with fasteny things at the back that don’t make the noise but they do have a strong association with cunts don’t they?
Still, if that’s all I’ve got to worry about that’s pretty good. Just look at that man that was found lying on the roadside covered in blood with his severed nob lying a few feet away. Now that cunt did have summit to worry about.