I said something would take ‘Yonks’ the other day. But how long is a Yonk? I know the idea of a yonk is that it’s an unspecfied amount of time but i reckon there’s two destinct types of yonk. The long yonk and the short yonk.
‘Remember when that used to be a bar yonks ago’
This is and example of a long yonk. I reckon the long yonk is about 4 years. I’ve always though that yonks are somehow related to leap years. I don’t know why.
‘I had to go to A&E and it took fucking yonks’
Now this can’t be the same as the other yonk. This is the short yonk. I reckon the short yonk is about 4 hours.
So there we have it. Ladies and gentlemen I give you YONKS.
How long do you reckon a yonk is? I’d like to hear from you. Would I fuck I’m just being polite.
Hiyas, I’m thinking about converting to Islam but before I do I thought I’d convert me loft to Islam first and see if I like it.
I’ve got a prayer mat and some poppadums and shit up there but when I start doing the dance the Mrs bangs on the ceiling.
I’ll try it for a bit (until the world cup comes on) and let you know how it goes. I’m not doing the booze thing or the meat thing though. No fucking way!
Hi all, I’ve twatted my head and I can’t remember anything past 1994. If you know something that I’ve done that’s good since that time please let me know.
Have you got a shop? You might find this useful when a sale that you were having has come to an end.
You’d think that when you’d took so long to get to 40 you’d be able sit and enjoy it for a bit wouldn’t you? But no it’s 41 before you know it. Fastest year ever. What have I achieved in this year? FUCK ALL.
WHICH CUNT PRESSED FAST-FORWARD?
A visit to the Earth by the Lord God doesn’t turn out how he expected.
There’s nothing like the feeling of something you are completely responsible for being completely out of control, is there?
B&Q. Bins on heads running round. In between the aisles so you can hear them but you can’t see them. Stuff of nightmares, stuff of nightmares.